


First or Second Kiss

by haemat



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, If I have to be the one to write it then I guess it's just gonna happen, Starts off just pure fluff and then eventually I ruin my own life, You can skip the last chapter if you don't want to read smut, gal pals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-24 08:21:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16636325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haemat/pseuds/haemat
Summary: Nott and Jester stay up late on the Squall-Eater to keep watch... but really they're just playing with Jester's new magical paint set.The topic of first kisses gets broached again.Originally not intended to be multi-chaptered, but then I died.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is extremely nerve-wracking. Even though I've never written anything other than gen fic before, I wanted to try to contribute something.
> 
> Just in case someone out there is as thirsty for cute Jester/Nott content as I am.

"Maybe it's still a good thing that it just makes dick statues. Maybe you can just leave a trail of dick statues wherever you go."

It's quieter at sea than it is on land, especially at this time of night, when the moon is high and barely visible behind thin sheets of purple clouds. The sound of the waves pulling the Squall-Eater are all that's left aside from the two of them, the acting crew down to the barest of bones just to make sure disaster doesn't strike while everyone sleeps. The night air is chill and moisture clings to any exposed skin, the taste of salt in the back of their throats.

One could argue that a gunner and a carpenter (-in-training, the both of them) aren't exactly necessary crew to keep the ship sailing past midnight, but Nott and Jester volunteered when they opted to stay up late together, corralling themselves away on the deck behind equipment and cargo and giggling over the Marvelous Pigments their piracy had awarded Jester with.

So far, Jester's painted the initial dick (of course), a hamster unicorn, a very cool but impractical sword, a huge diamond, and, after getting a bit frustrated, a plate of snickerdoodles. She's now sitting cross-legged on the floor and chomping away at the cookies, brow furrowed in an annoyed pout. Nott sits across from her, paint already smudged on the bandages over her fingers.

"Well," Jester sighs, around a mouthful of cookie, "I guess so. Dick statues are pretty cool. But none of the things I want to make real work! Except for these cookies."

She's right. The hamster unicorn was equally made of stone, the sword didn't really do anything besides look sort of menacing and arbitrarily spiky, and the diamond turned out to be made of glass. Which they had to find out the hard way. Someone will probably clean up those glass shards, Nott figures, when they move around the crates and barrels and such and discover them hiding underneath. They buried their shame, and now it's someone else's problem.

"The cookies are very good, though. May I have another?" Jester nods and Nott takes a small one from the side of the little cookie tower. Nott had heard of snickerdoodles before, but they didn't seem to be widespread beyond the Menagerie Coast, where they favor cinnamon in their baking. She's not quite used to the taste of the spice, but it's not so jarring that it makes it taste bad.

"Think about it, though," Nott continues, "you could run some pretty amazing cons with this stuff. If you made a bunch of small fake diamonds, they wouldn't break as easily, and you could sell them. You could run the cup game and have someone drawing little holes beneath the ball in the cup and then covering them back up. Or you could deface the Platinum Dragon statue with just... _monstrously huge_ genitalia."

Jester giggles a little. "That's a _pretty good_ idea. Maybe not the one in Zadash, though. That was really crazy."

"Yeah." Nott can't help but smile thinking back on their nigh-disastrous run-in with the followers of Bahamut in Zadash, something that could have very nearly ended with them both locked up for good. Which would be pretty bad for either of them, being a tiefling and a goblin to boot. But now, it's easier to look back on and laugh at how ridiculous it was, even if at the time it was mostly terrifying.

Silence stretches the next moments after the memory fades from her mind, and instead it is replaced by thoughts of how they ended up here so soon after all of that. Their last week in Zadash was sort of a blur, everyone in a sort of melancholy haze they were all trying to fight off with activities and errands and large amounts of day drinking. They're so far from the Empire, now. They're not even really on the Coast anymore, even if this may still be considered part of it on a map. Nott feels uniquely trapped on this ship, surrounded on all sides by something vast and endless and unknown. Water is a terrifying beast, but the ocean is its arcane god. She's always felt small navigating the world, but here she feels like the waves are threatening to swallow her up until it was like she never existed at all.

Add to that the fact that Fjord's need to understand what is happening to him has culminated in them being conscripted into a group of the worst of the very worst pirates, and now they're in bed with someone even those terrible pirates thinks is liable to turn on them at any moment. Avantika has been pulling the strings since they boarded the Myst. That much is clear. But Fjord is too blinded by the need to understand himself that he can't seem to bring himself to care.

Nott doesn't really blame Fjord. She'd do this for any one of them. But there's still that thought in the back of her mind, like maybe, just maybe they are setting something in motion so much bigger than themselves...

"Boop." A cold, wet feeling gathers on the end of Nott's nose. Nott blinks herself out of her anxieties and, rather than dark, black water stretching out before her, she sees a flash of blue. Jester's smirking face is hovering so close to hers, and Nott—a little belatedly—jerks her head back in surprise and embarrassment. She reaches up to rub her nose, and when she pulls her hand away, it's smudged with cerulean.

Jester wiggles the offending paintbrush in the air, still looking sly, and Nott's hand shoots out towards hers to grab hold of the brush. Jester holds it high above Nott's smaller form, but since they're sitting, Nott charges forward and clambers up until she's half on top of Jester's shoulder. There's a yelp and there's a battle cry and, within seconds, the two are a blur of limbs and shrieks as they wrestle on the wooden planks of the Squall-Eater's deck.

"Ha HA!" Eventually, Nott grabs hold of the paintbrush, but Jester's grip is too strong, and the victor emerges, struggling to her feet and holding her prize high above her head, where no goblins may ever hope to reach. "Now I'm going to paint a dick on your forehead as punishment!"

"Noooo!" Nott squeals, already exhausted from the wrestling match. She's barely able to kick her foot ineffectually towards her triumphant opponent in a half-hearted attempt to knock Jester back down to where Nott now lies alone, prone on the wooden floor. She has to take a minute to catch her breath.

But Jester won't let her have that chance. Before she can blink twice, Jester now hovers over her, pinning one of her arms down with her free hand and paintbrush bearing down on Nott's face in the other. Nott's remaining arm crashes into Jester's to try to grab it, but the exhaustion leaves her at a disadvantage. Jester easily snaps up that arm, too.

They are at an impasse. Jester can hold Nott's arms down over her head on the floor, but without one hand she can't paint her punishment on Nott's face.

Jester, though, isn't bothered. She looks down at Nott's wide, catlike eyes with a look of pure glee. Jester is completely draped over her, holding her down, and looking at her like a particularly tasty cinnamon-dusted cookie. A few moments pass while Nott can feel sweat gathering at the nape of her neck, but she doesn't move to wriggle free. She almost feels lightheaded. Maybe she's more tired out than she thought.

"Are you..." Nott finally croaks, "going to stay like that forever?"

"Maaaaybe," Jester says, drawing out the word and puffing out her cheeks. "Well, no, I guess I'll have to let us both eat someday so we don't starve."

"Sounds fair."

Nott feels almost feverish. Shit. Maybe she's getting sick.

"You remember what you said about that boy you kissed?" Jester suddenly whispers. It's not a gentle whisper, more like a stage whisper, but it still makes Nott's throat feel dry.

"You mean..." Nott begins, but she thinks better of it than to guess at what Jester's referring to. "Yes. Yes, I remember."

"You were saying like, you'll remember it foreeever, but you don't really care about him, and it was just a game with kids, and it doesn't really matter?" Jester leans a little closer. Nott's stomach does a flip. She smells like salt and cinnamon sugar.

"Y-Yeah, I said those things."

Jester keeps leaning closer. Nott can taste the salt in the air almost all over again. Jester lowers down, past Nott's cheek, and murmurs into her ear.

"Your whole face is flushed. You look really funny."

If Nott's face was dark green with the blood rushing to her head before, then it was twice as green now. Jester pulls away giggling, letting go of Nott's arms and instead starts to put away her Marvelous Pigments, swishing the paintbrush to and fro in the water cup beside the array of paint tubes. Nott is almost dizzy as she pulls herself back up to a seat, leaning back on her hands and breathing hard. She looks back at Jester finally while the latter is quietly rubbing any dried remnants of acrylic off the bristles of the brush.

"Jester, I lied to you about that," Nott says before she can think better of it.

"I know. I'm not dumb." Jester flicks water at Nott, but her face is still turned away. "And you're a bad liar."

Nott thumbs her nose ring, fiddling with it. "It was a boy I liked. And I still remember him. But he thought I was... you know. Stupid and ugly and lame. Not excited enough to set fire to helpless animals in the back of the wagon. Kid stuff." Kid goblin stuff, to be exact.

"Nott," Jester casts a look over the freshly capped tube of paint in her hands. "You're smart, you're cute, you're fun... And I like that you aren't mean to helpless things."

"I'm still pretty mean to helpless things sometimes," Nott says with a nervous laugh in her voice. "Remember that manticore baby? Good times..." She scratches the back of her head, looking away, freshly embarrassed.

"The point is!" Jester commands Nott's attention, and there's no arguing with a determined Jester. "I think you're really sweet." She sets down the (mostly) cleaned up paints, leaving the spills and splashes from their roughhousing to be someone else's problem on some other day. She pulls herself over from her seated position, closer to Nott again. When Nott thinks she's finished moving over, Jester scoots two more steps nearer, until their legs are flush against one another. Nott forces herself not to hide her face instinctually as Jester looks very seriously into her eyes, but she doesn't know where to rest her gaze. She darts back between Jester's warm pink eyes, the dusting of dark blue freckles spread like stars across her round cheeks, the smudge of yellow paint on her chin, even once daring to flicker down and focus for a millisecond on her lips, chapped and bitten.

When Jester doesn't say anything immediately, Nott just gives a jerky nod and instinctually covers her mouth with a nervous hand.

"I don't think..." Nott murmurs, "I mean, I'm alright."

"But do you think," Jester says almost conspiratorially, a glint in her eye and her tail swishing to and fro behind her head, "if I kissed you now, would you remember it forever even though it's not your first one?"

Nott's throat entirely clamps shut. This isn't happening to her. Someone else deserves this. Someone cuter, someone smarter, someone who's worth Jester's time. Maybe Beau? Or Caleb? Mr. Clay, even? What about Fjord? She's just... Nott. And she's had people look at her a lot of ways before, but she's never had someone look at her the way Jester is looking at her right now.

Something in Nott's mind snaps, and everything goes blank. Something happens before she knows what. Her fingers are curled around Jester's flowing sleeve. There's something soft pressed against her lips, and she hastily reminds herself to keep her mess of teeth in check. There's a click of fang against fang regardless, and she startles, but before she can think anything of it she presses further against the soft pressure on her mouth. At some point, she squeezed her eyes shut, but she thinks she knows what's going on and she threatens herself in her head not to dare open them yet.

She's kissing Jester. At some point, Nott leaned in and just went for it rather than waiting for Jester to follow through on her promise, anxieties be damned. There's a fear pounding in her chest, trying to pull her little goblin heart out of her, but she ignores that and pulls herself closer, her thin legs curling over Jester's larger thighs. She needs to breathe, but she's so afraid of chickening out that she kisses even deeper. Jester's hand curls up at the back of Nott's head, and at some point, her hood must have fallen, but she's glad for it because she can feel Jester's fingers gently entwine themselves in Nott's long stringy hair. At the same time, there's the telling pressure Jester's tail curling itself around Nott's back as if it's trying to press her in closer.

Finally, when Nott thinks she's going to suffocate herself on the saltwater taste of Jester's ocean-kissed lips, Jester lets out a surprised sound and pulls away. Not too far away, to Nott's confused relief. While Nott gasps for air, Jester leans her forehead against hers and rubs a thumb over her own bottom lip, pulling it away to check for blood.

"...My teeth," Nott sighs out, voice shaky. She ruined it. She made Jester regret asking. She taught Jester that kissing her is the stupidest thing you could ever do. She's too gross. Too clumsy. Her lips are probably dry. She's not the sort of person you're meant to do things like this with.

Nott opens her mouth to apologize, to tell her to forget it ever happened, and Jester catches the words before they can be spoken in another kiss. This one is smaller, gentler. The brush of softness at the edge of Nott's lips and the comforting touch of Jester's hand on her collarbone tell her Jester doesn't care. Nott can breathe through this one, and she takes a shuddering breath against Jester's mouth.

With a playful, tiny peck to punctuate it, Jester pulls away. Nott stares up at her. She's half in Jester's lap, now, and she doesn't know what to say. She's surprised at herself for being so gutsy to take the first plunge, she's surprised at Jester for even suggesting it, she's surprised that she could ever be in this situation with anyone, let alone someone so...

"Well? That was only my second kiss, you know. What do you think?" Jester grins ear to ear, and if Nott didn't know her better she'd think Jester was planning to kill her with how devious she looks.

"I don't know," Nott says, unsure if it's a lie or not. Maybe that proves it true. "Was it... okay? Did I hurt you?"

"Only a little poke. I didn't even bleed all over you!" Jester brings up a hand to play with a long strand of Nott's somewhat uneven and unkempt hair. She still manages to look really offended when she grumbles, "So you don't even know if you liked it or not?"

"Uh—!" Nott, for a moment, is horrified that Jester would think Nott didn't enjoy it, didn't already miss it. She starts to stutter something to assure her, but then... thinks better of it. "Well... It was kind of... damp. Like, really  _moist._ Maybe even... sweaty."

"What!!" Jester gasps, hands coming up to her face in horror.

"Yeah, kind of like... kissing a fish... or the Gentleman..." Nott can't help but let the smirk break through her facade, and it's at that exact moment that Jester shoves her playfully, and she's too weak and dizzy from the earlier scuffle and her confused bliss to fight back. She just collapses off of Jester's lap and onto her side like a discarded towel, trying and failing to fight back giggles.

"Seriously, though!" The two of them are facing each other now, Nott with the side of her head against the floor looking up at Jester, who is looking down at the smooth surface of the deck with a knit brow, on her side and propping up her head with an arm. With her free hand, she traces the patterns in the wood with the long claw of a finger. "You know, this time I wanted to try doing it myself, but you did it before I could... But I was totally conscious the whole time, so it was really different... And it didn't involve drowning at all..."

"Yeah, that was pretty bad."

Jester shoots Nott a look, and Nott understands that to mean that she should be more serious now.

"Well, what I mean is... was that bad?"

Jester isn't looking at Nott, save for the occasional, almost nervous glance. This whole time, it felt like Jester was sure of herself, like she had the upper hand, like Nott was just coming along for the ride, but maybe Jester is just as confused. It's... true that they have about the same amount of experience. Two first kisses that neither were sure counted. But Jester is a unique, brilliantly blue and confident tiefling. She's vibrant and full of energy and spontaneity, bringing Nott along for the craziest adventures of her life. She's empathetic and always knows what to say to make Nott smile. Being with her isn't for the best just because she can heal Nott's wounds, but also because Jester being herself could make any kind of pain or worry lessen.

Nott isn't eloquent enough to put together any words like that. She just smiles through what she's sure is still a deep blush and says in a small voice, "I liked it."

Jester's face softens and she brings her finger to her lips, as if in thought.

Nott, before she can think better of it, then asks, "Are we ever... going to do it again?"

"Mmm," Jester hums, almost lost in thought. "I think so. It was pretty good. Wait! But isn't it like, crazy bad for detective partners to become," she gasps, "something more??"

Nott squints a little at her. "Why?"

"Like! What if the bad guy kidnaps me to get to you!? And he's all, you know, using me as a shield on a clifftop, and you're like, _oh no, I can't shoot him without hitting Jester_ , and then he throws me off the edge of the cliff and I scream and you scream too, and then I guess we both _die??_ " Jester looks appropriately horrified at the end of all her grand gesturing, and it's one of those times that Nott isn't entirely sure whether Jester is being serious or not. She thinks not. She usually guesses right.

"Well then," Nott says evenly, "that could potentially happen. You could get kidnapped a second time and then we could both die. So." Nott rolls over onto her back, staring up at the sky instead. She'd hoped to look at the stars, but even with how thin the veneer of clouds is, she can barely make out any of them. "I guess there's nothing to do about it."

"...So?"

"So, since we're probably going to die now that this train's a-rollin' anyway, we should probably do it about two hundred percent more often, just in case it crashes and burns tomorrow." Nott pauses for a moment to let that sink in, then continues, "Because it probably will, Avantika's going to sink this pleasure cruise if it makes her big snake god come back faster. And for all we know, it would."

Jester rolls her eyes dramatically in the corner of Nott's periphery at the mention of Avantika, but she crawls over anyway. Nott... wasn't sure exactly what effect her challenge was going to produce, but when the familiar sensation of Jester pinning her arms down on the deck comes to her, she swallows hard and bites her lip as she stares up at Jester's cheeky grin. It's not as scary this time. Not unknown and arcane like the ocean around them. She doesn't know how it happened even still, but Jester looks at her like that, and she feels like she could dive into the water and learn to swim if it meant Jester would cross that distance. If it meant Jester would just lean down... and come in close... and...

Nott blinks up at her, but Jester isn't moving. "Are you going to stay like that forever?"

"I like looking at you waiting like you're gonna get kissed," Jester says, accent lingering on each word, grin absolutely diabolical. "You were doing it before, too. You get this cute look on your face... and your lips pucker up a little bit... and you're like, mmph—!"

Without the use of her arms, Nott crashes her lips into Jester's just to get her to shut up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nott's nosy friends had to find out somehow.
> 
> Nott, meanwhile, finds out what happens when you mix heavy anxiety with unexpected romantic attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe Nott the Best became canon Thursday night.
> 
> Anyway, I guess I wrote more, so now there's going to be multiple chapters. In fact, I wrote so much I had to split it into two more...
> 
> Content warning: Emetophobia. I tried not to get into the gory details if that matters. Starts at "Her stomach churns." and ends at "When he's done, he stands and pauses for a second."

Nott isn't sure last night was real.

Nott lies in her cot, the edge of one of her claws poking at her lip, scratching at some dry skin there. Out of her periphery, she only barely notices Caleb rising from his cot across from her in the cramped space on the Squall-Eater and pulling his coat and scarf on, then realizing he's too hot and just placing them loosely around his shoulders. The slow rise and fall of the rolling waves has long since stopped unsettling her stomach so much, but one of her hands is still cradling her stomach as if she expects the motion to upset it and she wants to reassure it while she can.

Nothing happened, not really. Well, nothing so dramatic. It was only the first kiss she had that meant anything.

Nott never dreamed anyone would want to kiss her, let alone someone she actually liked. She's a goblin, and she's abandoned all her ties to other goblins. People don't date goblins. Not unless they are really freaky, maybe. Jester isn't like that, yet still, she kissed Nott.

Nott presses her finger against her lips, feeling the pressure of her mess of sharp teeth brushing against it. Was Jester okay with that? Was this just an experimentation? Was she just wondering what it's like?

"Nott," Caleb's quiet, slightly groggy voice interrupts her, "we should probably get up now. There will be breakfast."

"Okay," Nott says in a small voice, pulling herself out of her trance as she drags herself up and off the cot. Caleb is standing over her and giving her an odd look.

"Still tired?"

Nott blinks up at him, then away, and scratches her cheek in what she hopes is a casual way. "Yeah, well, you know me. Not a morning person." She fakes a yawn, keeping one eye open to check if Caleb is buying it.

He doesn't seem bothered either way. He just looks thoughtful and nods, then he starts heading toward the hallway of the crew's quarters. Or whatever it's called on a ship. Nott doesn't know why they don't just use words that already exist. While Nott follows him out, the ship suddenly lurches, sending her careening nearly into Caleb, but she catches herself on the door frame. A hand comes up to cover her mouth as her stomach churns and threatens to empty itself, but the rocking settles back into its ocean rhythm.

Caleb is looking back at her, hand hovering over her, unsure what to do.

Nott's stomach is angry, but it calms itself after a few moments. She nods at him. "I'm good."

He places his hand firmly on the top of Nott's head, and she flinches, but she looks up at him with a small smile.

She follows him to the mess hall. Cafeteria. Whatever it is.

 

* * *

 

Mr. Clay brought some of the nicer food stores over from the Mystake, so the crew of the Squall-Eater gets to eat well while the Mighty Nein are part of them. He happily took up making the crew's meals, since he seems to enjoy being in the kitchen so much. This morning, he's serving up some kind of omelet, and he knows Nott's tastes, so he fills hers full of all kinds of sweet breakfast meats.

It tastes really good, and Mr. Clay's food is probably the best cooking she's ever had, but still, she finds herself picking at the food in the plate in front of her, lost in thought. She doesn't even feel like having a drink, because the alcohol would certainly upset her stomach even more with the swaying of the ship's lower chambers. The conversation at the table where the Mighty Nein all sit together washes over her like a far-off rumble, and she barely picks up a single word, even as rowdy as they generally can be.

Maybe yesterday was a fluke. Maybe Jester will want to forget it ever happened. Maybe she'd rather follow through on that crush on Fjord, even though he's getting involved with Avantika. Maybe kissing Nott was just Jester's way of dealing with being upset about that. Gods, that's it, isn't it? Nott's the rebound.

Just as Nott's elbows plop onto the table so she can feel miserable in her little corner, as she rests her chin in her hands, she catches sight of a blue finger tapping a dark claw on the table before her plate to get her attention. Nott glances up across the table at Jester just as Beau starts angrily denying some kind of probably intensely accurate observation Mr. Clay made.

Jester grins at her, then she starts waggling her eyebrows in her direction. Nott stares for a moment and furrows her brow, to which Jester responds by pursing her lips. Several times. In kissing motions. While her eyebrows are still going all over the place.

Nott immediately feels the blood rush to her cheeks, and she starts to stammer something under her breath, thinking she's got to whisper something that could get Jester to stop before someone notices what she's doing. But then she blessedly stops anyway. Very abruptly, very casually. Like nothing happened.

Jester turns beside herself to Beau and says, "No, Beau, you seem like you really enjoy doing this pirate thing? Even though you basically almost died that one time."

Beau snaps back, "Fuck this conversation. So, Jester, you know that tattoo I was talking about getting?" Beau muscles her way through talking to anyone, and if she doesn't want to talk about something, then she won't talk about it.

Jester brightens considerably. "Yeah! You will not regret coming to me. I just learned how, but I'm _really good_." She leans in closer to Beau and waggles her eyebrows in much the same way she just did at Nott.

"Yeah, so, I thought about it some more, and..."

Nott squints at Jester as she talks to Beau about their tattoo plans. Would she tell Beau, who she rooms with almost every night? Has she already told her? Probably not. Someone like Jester would never advertise that she kissed Nott of all people. Maybe if Nott was Fjord and if the kiss wasn't just to keep her from drowning. Why didn't Jester go to Beau instead if she needed a rebound or whatever? It'd be easier, and Nott knows Beau likes girls. Plus, she is really, really pretty, once you get past her awful personality and her inability to clean makeup off her face until a week after it's been applied.

Nott didn't even know she herself would like a girl until yesterday. It was just never relevant to consider who she'd prefer in that way.

Yasha says something, and Beau turns to her, and Fjord joins in, and Jester glances back to Nott, catching her staring. Nott breaks eye contact and looks back down at her plate. Jester's gaze doesn't falter while everyone else is distracted, and out of Nott's periphery her lips curl into a smirk and she rests her chin on a hand.

Why is she just looking at her?

Nott glances back up just as Jester starts making an incredibly lewd gesture with her tongue.

Nott feels her whole head burn up like it's about to explode from the inside out. Her attention snaps down to her lap, where her fingers are now clutching the fabric of her pants. She feels like she's going to vibrate out of her skin or her eyes are going to burst out from her head or both at the same time in some kind of horrible, gory mess.

Gods. Of course. Jester's got the dirtiest mind of the whole group, and Nott's used to that, can roll with the punches nearly every time, but this isn't just dick jokes, is it? Is she just teasing her about the kiss? Or is Jester insinuating—

"Nott?" A hand comes to her forehead and she freezes. She can hear Caleb's voice say in a low, concerned tone, "You look like you have a fever. Have you eaten any of your breakfast?"

"Caleb," Nott whispers to him in a high, thin voice, hoping no one else can overhear, "can we talk? Real quick? In private?"

There's a short pause while he processes her sudden request, then Caleb says, "Of course."

Nott doesn't look at anyone when she suddenly snaps to attention, standing up in a rigid stance and shouting, "Excuse us!!" She then snatches Caleb's hand and nearly topples herself over with a particularly sudden rock of the Squall-Eater as she tries to step over the bench. The conversation at the table is extremely quiet as Nott leads Caleb in a march outside and back toward the crew's quarters. She's sure she can feel everyone staring at their backs the whole way out.

Caleb is so very quiet and so very blessedly patient as Nott carves them a path straight to the tiny, tiny room they share and leads him inside. It's so cramped that she can't move around in it, so she just jumps back onto one of the low-hanging cots and starts bouncing her toes nervously on the floor. Before Caleb even has a chance to sit down across from her, she's pulled out her flask. Her claws rattle against it as her fingers shakily make a messy attempt to twist open the cap, but she manages, and she tosses some back before she can see Caleb's face.

When her vision lowers back down, Caleb is staring at her very intensely. He doesn't look worried, he just looks serious, his brow furrowed the way it so often is. The picture of Zemnian solemnity.

"You want out of this," he doesn't ask. "You are unnerved... with what we are doing here. You draw the line at piracy."

Nott mouth drops, dumbfounded for a moment. She has to take a moment to recover from the unexpected leap of logic he's made.

"No!?" She realizes she sounds a little too offended and tries again. "No, no, I don't care about being pirates, we're not even hurting anybody. The whole boat part is terrible, and I don't like that we all basically almost drowned, but I've already decided my life is going to be terrible until we get back to the Empire."

"Mm."

When Caleb doesn't move to make any other guesses, she tries to elaborate. "I just... Last night... Uhh... When you..." She looks at him helplessly and then takes another big drink of whiskey. He just watches her silently, waiting for her to find her words. She swallows. "Do you... remember your first kiss?"

Caleb's jaw clenches, his eyes narrowing. "Is it relevant?"

"Probably not," Nott hurriedly responds. "Sorry. This wasn't even my first."

An awkward silence falls over them again, while the boat creaks and groans slowly, swaying back and forth.

"So you are saying," Caleb says evenly, "that someone kissed you. Is someone bothering you? Someone from the crew?"

"No, I..." Nott sighs and murmurs, "I'm not being bothered. I... I was fine with it. I mean, technically I kissed first, but..." She looks up at Caleb again, pleading for him to interject with something, a leading question, anyway for her to just rely on one-word answers. She can't think straight, let alone parse her feelings into words. But he just watches her, frown on his face. So she tries again, speaking slowly. "It's not someone from the crew. It's Jester."

As Caleb brings his hand to his chin in thought, gaze flicking down to the shined wooden floor, Nott takes the opportunity to kick herself back into the corner of the cot, against the wall, curling up and taking another big drink.

"Jester is... or perhaps _was_ interested in Fjord," Caleb starts to interpret. "That is why you are agitated."

"I guess so?" Nott throws her hands up in confusion, whiskey sloshing out of her flask and staining the wooden panes lining the wall. "I don't know if I'd say agitated. I don't know what to do! I've never had anyone ever, ever... want to do anything like that with me. And you know Jester! She's confident, and... she always just does what she feels like doing, and she knows all that there is to know about courting people already because of her mother, and... I don't know what I'm doing? I don't know how to treat someone... _romantically?_ What am I supposed to do now?"

Caleb still looks lost in thought, and Nott frantically gulps down more alcohol.

"Maybe you should slow down," Caleb finally says.

"You mean take it slow? That's what I was—"

"No. No. The drinking."

Nott shoots Caleb a withering look over her flask and obstinately takes another quick drink.

Caleb doesn't respond to that. He just takes a deep breath, sighing out at length. Then he flatly explains to her, "Nott, I haven't pursued anyone romantically in sixteen years."

Nott coughs on the whiskey she had just started sending down her throat, sputtering liquid all over her own lap. She keeps coughing, trying to catch her breath, and then the Squall-Eater, unmatched marine vessel that it is, pitches forward on a particularly large wave of ocean, and she falls over onto her side, head hanging off the edge of the cot. Her stomach churns.

Caleb doesn't have a chance to ask if she's alright, and Nott doesn't have the opportunity to will her stomach to settle. With a heavy retch, what little breakfast she picked off her plate expels right onto the floor.

Nott groans and pulls herself onto her hands and knees. She expects Caleb to give her an I-told-you-so about drinking so much so fast, but he just immediately grabs the crumpled sheet off his cot and uses it to start wiping up the mess. Nott starts to protest, but Caleb quickly tells her it's alright.

Quiet now, her worries and her breakfast spilled, Nott watches Caleb methodically clean up after her, curling up in her own sheet.

When he's done, he stands and pauses for a second. And then he warns, "You, ah, probably shouldn't tell her you got so nervous you made yourself hurl on the floor. And..." He swallows. "And I think maybe you should ask her what she thinks of all this." And that's the only advice he gives before he takes the soiled sheet out of the narrow room.

 

* * *

 

Nott is really fucking hungry.

She normally eats voraciously, but the bare minimum that she ate at breakfast... Well, it didn't last her very long. She doesn't know where everyone else went, other than Caleb who curled up with a new sheet on his cot with a book. Sailing seems to take even longer than travel by cart, and Caleb's long given up on staving off his boredom while in transit with anything but one of the books he's likely already read a thousand times.

When Nott reenters the place she's now dubbed the "food palace", since she can't remember what Fjord said it was called on a boat, she sees a familiar, lanky figure sitting silently at the same bench she was at before. He's faced away, but she'd recognize that shock of pink curls anywhere. She can see Mr. Clay slowly sipping from a teacup, movements slow. He seems completely at peace with the world. Which is a feat, considering the fact that Nott distinctly remembers dragging him back from the temple at Urukaxl while he was on the brink of watery death just days before. The last time he nearly drowned, he had some kind of existential meltdown, but apparently what Jester said to him worked.

At the corner of the table Mr. Clay is at, where Nott had sat before, she spots a plate lying alone. There's a wooden cover over it. Did he preserve her breakfast?

Mr. Clay's long, furred ear twitches at the pitter patter of tiny goblin feet crossing the large, otherwise empty room. "Caleb told me," he drawls in that low rumble, "that you got seasick again after you left the table. I thought you might still like your breakfast once you were back to feeling right." He pauses, then turns to face her. "Or maybe it's lunch, now. When is brunch? I've never had brunch."

Nott shrugs as she takes a seat. She's never had brunch, either. That seems like a Tri-Spire thing, as far as she knows. "Thanks, Mr. Clay."

He lets her dig in, and she soon starts shoveling long-cooled egg matter and salty sweet meat pieces into her mouth, tearing pieces rapidly with her sharp bite.

But, by the time she's finished—which takes mere seconds, despite the fact it was a pretty hefty omelet, a fact of which Nott is silently proud—he breaks the silence. "He didn't tell me why you left if you were worried. But I notice things sometimes."

Nott freezes, claws around the last piece of omelet, fork long discarded for its relative inconvenience.

"I think it's a good thing, you know. You and Jester. Good for her. I can tell she likes you."

"What do you mean?" Nott squeaks.

"Well, I can tell because she told me." Clay takes a sip of tea. It smells vaguely minty from where Nott's sitting. "We talk a lot."

Nott whirls in her seat, pointing the flimsy dregs of the omelet clutched in her fingers at him like a weapon. "What did she tell you!?"

"Not the whole," he gestures airily, vaguely, "confession part, or whatever happened between you two last night. We haven't talked about it that recently. The last time she said anything was before she started getting jealous of our esteemed captain. Which, I don't know if you've noticed, but she's been in a really poor mood these days."

Nott squints, lowering the improvised threat. "I've noticed," she says, drawing out the syllables a little, suspicious. "Everyone can see her staring daggers at Avantika. Every day, I've been expecting her to be found in the captain's quarters with a bloodied lollipop through her head."

"That probably won't happen," Mr. Clay reassures her. "Well. Maybe not. Jester can be unpredictable. But this morning, she was back to her chipper self. She didn't glare at Fjord once."

Nott frowns darkly, moving back to curl up and sulk at the bench. "So I _am_ the rebound. And it's a good thing because it makes Jester happier?"

"I don't know what that word means in this context," Mr. Clay says flatly, placing his teacup down. "But I don't think that's what I said. You should talk to her. She can explain herself better than I can. I'm not a mind reader, for all that Fjord would like me to be." When that's met with Nott simply staring and blinking back at him, he continues, "I will say, Jester has a lot of love in her heart. And I don't think you'd hurt her intentionally, but try not to anyway. I like her a lot."

"Do you not like me?" Nott shoots him a glance, which he meets with utter confusion. "I mean, I could get hurt, too."

Mr. Clay gives her an easy, reassuring smile. "Oh. I already told her not to do that."

"I thought you didn't talk to her about the—" Nott starts stammering halfway through her sentence, before she finally manages, "You said you didn't know about last night!?"

"Oh, yeah, I didn't know until breakfast. I told her after you ran from the table with your face all green. I like you a lot, too. You're pretty nice."

Everyone knows now.

Nott can't appreciate the compliment. Her soul has left her body. She is an ex-goblin.

"Here, you look like you could use some peppermint tea." Mr. Clay rises from his seat as if suddenly remembering his manners. "It's good for settling the stomach."

Nott doesn't know who dutifully drinks everything from the teacup quickly placed before her because Nott doesn't know if she can exist anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward confrontations lead to worse ones.
> 
> Nott has a learning experience about wanting someone without thinking you deserve it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, I love Fjord. He's just the Gob Bluth to Nott's Lucille.

Talk to Jester. That's what she has to do. The smartest person she knows told her that was the best thing to do now. And so did the dumbest person she knows, but that person also happens to be extremely good at understanding people. Most of all when they're not saying anything.

The thing is, Nott doesn't know where the fuck Jester is. She's opening all the doors to each of the crew's quarters to check, including ones she knows don't belong to Jester and Beau, because if anything Mr. Clay said rang true, it was that Jester can be very unpredictable. For all Nott knows, she could be methodically removing all the cots from the walls in someone else's room. Or painting a hole in someone's roof with her magical paint. Or...

"What," an accented, drawling voice interrupts, "are you hopin' to find in my room?"

Nott's hand freezes on the door to someone's sleeping area. So. This is Fjord and Mr. Clay's room. And that would mean the person who's caught her with her claws in the cookie jar is...

"You lookin' through my stuff again?" Fjord accuses her, arms folded, towering above Nott's three-foot form as her gaze slowly follows his voice up and up. Nott swallows hard, and it tastes like salt.

What could Nott do in this situation other than to dramatically gasp and act as if he's just made the most baseless assumption in Exandria. She whirls on her heel and drapes her hand over her chest in false shock. " _Well!_ You look pretty miffed for someone who's just unjustly accused an innocent bystander!"

"Do I?" Fjord asks, not backing down.

"Or... understandably offended for someone who's just had their girl stolen?"

Fjord's jaw drops, and he gives Nott the single most incredulous look she's ever received, which is saying a lot. The funny thing is, Nott didn't think that line would work. She thought she was going to be kicked in the teeth.

But...

"I, uh, I hope you're jokin'," Fjord relents, suddenly not looking so tall and imposing. "Nott, you, uh..." He has to take a moment to collect himself, the faded cerulean-to-green of his orc-blooded face now largely overtaken by cerulean. "I never asked Jester to... I know she took some kinda liking to me, but..."

Seconds ago, Nott's face was prepping itself for impact. Now, though, she can only stare at Fjord with absolutely no comprehension of what he's trying to say.

"You didn't 'steal anyone's girl', if that's... such a thing as can happen," Fjord finally manages, complete with air quotes. "Come on, Nott, I just want to make sure you're not still tryin' to go through my things. I thought we were past that."

Nott frowns. "I was just looking for Mr. Clay," she lies. It's easier than telling him she was looking for Jester. Less embarrassing, at any rate.

"Oh," Fjord says, still extremely bluish in the face, scratching the side of his head and looking away. "Right. Uh. Don't think he's here. I saw him at the helm about ten minutes ago, talkin' to Waldock."

"Right," Nott echoes blankly.

They both stare at each other for a few more seconds, and then Nott swivels back to walk as briskly as possible in the other direction.

"That was the most awkward shit I've ever seen," Nott overhears someone else say as she walks past her. Apparently, Beauregard happened to be passing by at that exact moment, too, because Nott forgot how to be sneaky yet again.

Love it. Love it. Great to know someone witnessed that.

As Nott hurriedly scampers down the hallway (or whatever it's called), she hears boots following behind her. She really does not want Fjord following after her to explain himself or whatever, because she's already kind of pissed at him for messing with Jester's emotions, and she doesn't feel like forgiving him for that until Jester does.

It's not even that she dislikes him now, or even temporarily. He's still her family, and she loves him. He's just really, really dense sometimes.

Nott's pace quickens, but Fjord's legs are longer. The footfalls gain on her. Nott scampers up the steps leading to the deck, but Fjord grabs her by the hood, and Nott is instantly lifted off her feet and a foot into the air.

Obviously, she does anything a goblin whose size was just used against her would do. She starts shrieking at the top of her lungs.

"I'M SORRY I'LL NEVER KISS HER AGAIN—"

"No, no, okay, point, uh, point taken," the gruff but... much higher octave voice of Beau says, attempting to pacify her. Alright. Not Fjord, then. Nott's screams fall silent just in time to hear Beau sigh. "I didn't actually mean to lift you off the ground."

There's a pause. Nott can't turn to look at Beau's face, because she remains floating over the narrow stairwell leading to the deck.

"Right, I'll put you down now." Beau, almost surprisingly, is actually mostly gentle as she lowers Nott back down to the ground.

"Have you been working out or something?" is the first thing Nott asks as she turns around and readjusts her hood over her head. Her dark, greenish hair is kind of all over the place now, which is something she will maybe deal with later. Well. Someday.

"Oh, yeah, do my arms look nicer to you? I don't know if they look any different." Beau rubs her arm. Nott just gives her a blank look and waits for her to remember why she followed her down the entire hall. "Right. Okay, I got something to say. I want to talk to you about this Jester thing."

Nott doesn't know exactly how to feel about that other than vaguely anxious. Then again, she always sort of feels vaguely anxious, so maybe Beau could have really said this was about anything.

"So," Beau starts and folds her arms, getting down to business. "Jester falls and falls hard. I want to know if you're serious about this shit or if you're just getting a kick out of someone being into you."

Nott still doesn't know what to say. Probably even less than she did before. She thinks her mouth fell open at one point, but really all she can concentrate on is the fuzz between her ears.

"I mean, if you're just trying to hit that, I'll punch you in the teeth. I mean it," Beau warns. There's a challenging glare on her face as if she's daring Nott to contradict her. "I won't hold back just 'cause I kinda don't hate you."

"Are you," Nott finally says, eyes squinting up at Beau, "admitting you don't hate me... and Jester at the same time?"

"What the— That's not the point!" Beau growls, gritting her teeth. She has to take a deep breath to gather herself again.

"I mean, that's seriously all I can say about this," Nott continues. "You obviously don't talk to me enough if you think I'd do that."

Beau breathes hard through her nose and looks away.

Nott keeps challenging her. She's actually really annoyed about this whole conversation. Besides, Beau's one to talk. She's the one who flirts with any girl who so much as looks semi-available. "You're probably the nosiest person on this ship, and you're somehow giving me this talk and not Fjord?"

"I already hand delivered him one straight to the nose," Beau says. "Deuces had to heal it back straight."

"Oh."

They both sort of stare in other directions for a moment. Nott at the ground, Beau at the wall.

Beau looks back at Nott, biting her lip. "I actually really like Jester, okay? She's pretty much the first friend I've ever had. Her and Fjord. And this whole love triangle thing is pissing me off enough without it turning into some kind of four-way mess."

"I don't think Jester wants a four-way," Nott replies slowly.

"You know what I mean!"

Nott doesn't know what to say to Beau, really. She didn't actually ask to get involved with any kind of love rectangle. She doesn't even feel like she is in one since apparently Jester's gotten over Fjord enough to start... doing whatever she's doing with Nott. And Jester was the one who initiated the whole thing, anyway. Now everyone knows about it because Clay can't keep his mouth shut, and it's sort of blowing up in her face the literal day after her first kiss that counted.

"Look," Nott sighs. "I get you think you're protecting her, and I don't even know if I can say I won't make some kind of.. horrible mistake because I have no idea what I'm doing. But I'll try not to. That's all I can promise."

Beau looks tired of this conversation already, as she generally does when talking about feelings. "Yeah," is her only response before she just turns and walks away.

Nott brings a hand to her head. If Jester's not on the deck somewhere, she's just going to let herself melt in the sun or something.

 

* * *

 

If Nott stays above deck long enough, letting the vertigo feeling of the waves wash over her as the Squall-Eater sways in the high noon, the smell and taste of salt on the air starts to fade into a familiar neutrality. The squealing call of the gulls flying overhead starts to sound almost like freshwater fowl honking around the edges of a pond, tending to their newly hatched ducklings and otherwise in the spring. The rocking of the floor behind her back starts to feel like rolling hills in the grassy landscape around Felderwin, as the wooden cart cuts across the southern reaches of the Empire to return home.

That's what Caleb said they'd do, after all. He vowed to her that once they went back north, back through the Wuyun Gates, they'd head straight to her home.

Not that Felderwin was ever her home. She didn't belong there. But it's the closest thing she can ever think of when the word comes to mind. The place she's from. The place she was always going to go back to.

She wonders if Jester felt as afraid to go back to Nicodranas as Nott feels about returning. Afraid and... longing. Wanting to see someplace familiar again, even if everyone there who recognizes her would kill her on sight. All but one person, anyway.

If Yeza's still alive and she hasn't been sending treasures back home to a ghost.

Nott opens her eyes with a sigh and is treated to another set of fuchsia eyes leaning over and staring down at her.

Nott lets out a shriek and tries to recoil further into the surface of the Squall-Eater's deck, to which Jester responds by descending into a raucous fit of laughter. Nott sits up just as Jester moves to collapse onto her butt beside her, still giggling almost inaudibly as she starts to lean against Nott's shoulder. Her cheek rests atop Nott's fuming, exposed head, her hood fallen behind her neck.

"You surprised me," Nott explains lamely and pointlessly.

Jester's giggles die down, and she leaves her head leaning against Nott's, as her breath eventually slows to a relaxed pace. A gull's cry pierces overhead, but it doesn't sound discordant. The sounds of the ocean have mostly become background murmurs now, as Jester's warmth ever so subtly shifts against Nott with the sway of the surf.

Today was so weird. Nott hopes all that's over with. She's been thoroughly embarrassed in every way she never thought possible. She realizes, faintly, that it's barely reaching the afternoon now if the sun is any indication. Which means there's still plenty of time to run into Yasha and get some kind of new, confusing talking-to.

Nott would rather just stay here with Jester leaning against her. Maybe for the rest of the sunlight. Maybe until the next sun arrives.

Jester's hand shifts beneath her weight, but rather than pull away, she adjusts it to snake around Nott's body and come down over Nott's own far hand. Nott finds it somewhat harder to breathe.

"Um," Nott croaks, and she clears her throat. "Uh, Jester? Jessie? How do you feel about... you know. All this?"

"Mmm," Jester hums as she ponders the question. "I feel sort of like... you know when you're listening to music, and it has I guess this really slow, sorta jazzy piano, and you're like, okay, this is kinda nice? But then a cello comes in and starts really going for it, and then the clarinet starts, and you're like, oh shit, and you really wanna dance? I kinda wanna dance right now."

That... sounds sort of good. The only thing is... "I don't know if I could dance without music, though."

"That's fine, we don't have to dance yet," Jester says, and she doesn't sound disappointed, so Nott thinks maybe it was just a passing impulse. "Remember when we were the best dancers in Hupperdook? That was probably the best place ever."

"We have to go back there, someday," Nott agrees. "To check on our bird child, at least."

Jester gasps, her grip tightening suddenly over Nott's hand. "Nott! I can't believe we had a baby out of wedlock! What will my mother think!?"

Nott is way too confused to start blushing over the implication, which is probably better for the state of her heart. "Jester, your mother was never married either."

"Oh, yeah, that's true," Jester says, instantly calming down. Her fingers lace in between Nott's, and Nott looks down at them. Their hands intertwined, her stubby green fingers poking between Jester's long aqua blue. "But I do wanna see Kiri again. I feel like one goodbye wasn't enough."

"I miss her too, but she'd definitely be dead if we didn't leave her there."

"Oh, yeah, for sure. She was like a baby!"

A short silence falls over them again, Nott feeling Jester's breath against her hair. Jester's thumb brushing against the edge of her wrist. She feels acutely aware that she isn't sure what she's supposed to say next. She's meant to talk to Jester about what the next steps are, what Nott's expected to do now, how to make things not completely horrible, but... it's really hard to put any voice to those words. Not now, not while Jester has her arm around her, and is starting to pull her messy hair behind her ear. Methodically, each strand is tucked nice and neat.

Nott opens her mouth to finally say something, but right then, Jester sighs and pulls away. But only for a moment. Because the next thing Nott knows, she's being pulled up into Jester's lap, and Jester's arms are enveloping around her. Nott starts to squeak something, but it catches in her throat when Jester's lips press firmly against the side of her neck. She feels Jester immediately smirk against her skin and what bandages she's got wrapped around there. Nott yet again tries to say something, but then swallows it before it starts as Jester's finger starts traveling around her collarbone. She soon finds the end of the bandages and starts loosening them, exposing more skin.

"Jester," Nott finally breathes out, a small murmur. "Jester, I don't know what I'm doing."

Jester giggles against her throat. "You read _Tusk Love,_ didn't you?"

Of course Nott did. That book made a full round through the party. She's pretty sure even Kiri got a hold of it at one point. "Yeah, but that's fake. And neither of us have... rippling muscles and... spilling bosoms."

"Speak for yourself," Jester says playfully, flexing a bicep despite the fact that Nott can barely see it.

"Point," Nott relents. "Counterpoint, no one's ever written a bodice-ripper about seducing a goblin."

Jester's nose pokes between the bandages, her fingers curling up in Nott's long hair. "Soooo?"

"So, I mean..." Nott swallows down a shudder. "I've never imagined myself as someone who would ever have... some kind of tryst, let alone... anything more than that..." She stumbles through the explanation with vague words. She hopes Jester understands what she means.

"Have you never had a crush? I mean, other than that boy when you were kids of course." Jester's fingers trace Nott's waist. "Have you never imagined, you know, kissing them... and holding them close... and touching them... and making them do..." Jester's lips come hazardously close to Nott's ear, and the next thing Nott knows, one of her stud piercings is in her mouth, and she feels Jester's tongue flick against it, and Nott lets out an embarrassing squeak. "...that?"

"No," Nott's voice wheezes, high and thin. "Not, uh, not really. I mostly just imagined them laughing in my face and then maybe giving me a concussion someway or another."

Jester pauses. "Do you want me to give you a concussion?" she goads.

"I'd really rather you didn't."

"Then I won't. And if you don't want me doing anything else with you, you can just say so, you know?" Jester pulls a little away from Nott, resting her hands on both of Nott's shoulders. "You're not freezing up 'cause you don't like it, right?"

"No," Nott says quickly. "No, I... I like it. I just don't know... what to do with it."

"Do whatever you feel like."

And Jester lets go of Nott, leaving her in her lap but collapsing onto her back, letting her arms fall over her head. She doesn't move to do anything else, just lying there even as Nott finally starts to turn to look at her.

Her eyes are closed, her face one of peaceful bliss. Her chest rises and falls slowly as she breathes. She could be asleep, dreaming about eating a thousand donuts.

So Nott's supposed to do something, right? Only she has no idea where she's meant to start. Experimentally, she touches Jester's leather bodice, mentally repeating the word  _bodice-ripper,_  but she doesn't really know what to do with that so she just pulls her hand away. She climbs off of Jester's thighs and scoots herself over to her resting face, kneeling down on the wooden deck.

"Do anything?" Nott asks, making sure.

Jester opens one eye at peers up at her with a sly grin. "Are you going to do something dirty?"

"I don't think I have the stones for that yet."

"Anything," Jester confirms and closes both eyes again.

Nott thinks about it for what feels like forever, just sitting there on her knees, staring at Jester. Nott has the sudden impulse to lick her own finger and stick it in Jester's ear, which would probably be really funny, but this is a learning experience, so she has to be serious about it.

So she shifts closer, lying beside Jester, and then Nott drapes half her smaller body over her. Nott's hand cups Jester's cheek, and she hesitates for a minute, watching Jester's face for any sign that she's changed her mind.

Jester's face remains at peace.

Nott brings her lips to the side of Jester's jawline and places an experimental kiss there. Suddenly, her chest feels incredibly warm, and she feels the intense need to kiss as much of Jester as possible. She leaves a trail along Jester's lower jaw, her hand traveling from cheek to hair, fingers raking through blue strands. They make their way to the base of Jester's horn, the curves of which she traces a path along.

Eventually, Nott can't take it anymore. She needs Jester to hold her again. She takes Jester by the chin and pulls her face to turn towards Nott's beside her, staring. Jester's eyelashes flutter slightly, maybe fighting the urge to peek. Nott places a tiny kiss at the corner of Jester's eye. Finally, her eyes flicker open, and she looks at Nott, quiet in the face of her uncertainty. Even still, Jester does nothing.

So Nott takes the plunge, and pulls Jester closer by the horn, eliciting a tiny gasp moments before their lips meet again. Finally.

This time, Nott is acutely aware of her need to breathe through her nose, taking in the scent of seawater mixed with cinnamon. She also tries to be careful with her teeth, but fangs click against fangs before long, and she's quickly realizing that with their combination that sort of thing is inevitable. Jester makes a move again, at last, wrapping her arm around the small of Nott's back and urging her closer, closer. Then, she feels Jester's tongue slip between her lips and she lets out a tiny muffled moan, as Jester starts to strongarm her side of the kiss and take the lead. Nott is terrified she'll bite Jester's searching tongue, but she feels Jester's hot breath mix with her own shuddering gasps as the tongue coaxes her own out of hiding, and a shiver runs down Nott's back.

She feels like she never wants to stop kissing Jester ever again. When Jester pulls away, Nott almost follows her before she knows what she's doing, panting. She looks at Jester's face with dazed eyes, unable to think straight, and Jester breathes deeply and licks her own lips.

"You taste funny," Jester comments.

"Like... bad? Sour? Gross?"

"No, not bad," she muses, looking thoughtful. "Like bitter... wheatgrass maybe? And something that makes my tongue a little numb. And saltwater."

"I think that's whiskey, Jester," Nott says. "Whiskey and saltwater."

"Oh."

When Jester doesn't move to kiss her again, Nott presses her lips against her cheek for a moment and then curls up over her whole body like a sleepy cat. They should probably be somewhere less out in the open, Nott realizes faintly. Oh, well.

Nott lies with her head over Jester's collarbone, ear pressed flat against her, able to hear the faint sound of a heartbeat. It's beating fast, like a hare's. Jester's arm slides comfortably over her shoulders while her breathing starts to calm.

Maybe it's okay. Maybe it's okay that Jester made the terrible mistake of wanting her.

Caleb's warning echoing in her head, Nott murmurs to Jester before she can think better of it, "I got so nervous about this earlier... that I spilled my guts all over my room."

Jester's fingers start threading through Nott's hair at the back of her neck. Nott's claws are useful for combing out knots, and Jester's are proving to be much the same as she methodically separates small tangles and picks out the mess. Somehow, there's a lot less tugging and snagging and pulling than whenever Nott finally decides enough is enough with her useless mane.

"You mean you threw up?"

"Mm-hmm," Nott hums.

Jester's breath cuts through the sea breeze at the top of Nott's forehead. The warmth makes her realize it's actually pretty cold up here.

"Nott," Jester says, with a hint of firmness in her voice, "I'll make sure you have nothing to worry about." Her fingers rake gently against the back of Nott's head. Nott silently notes that she's never even felt anyone do that before. "Whenever you're worried, talk to me about it. Just go, 'Jester, I'm super freaking out.' And we can figure it out from there, okay?"

Nott gives a tiny nod against Jester's chest. "That sounds almost doable."

"I know, right?" Jester agrees, sounding as excited as if she's just shared a juicy secret.

It does sound really simple, coming from her. Especially now. Nott feels so serene, lying here curled over Jester, that all her anxieties feel distant, almost trivial.

With any luck, they'll be leaving this awful boat far behind soon enough. In the meantime, Nott doesn't feel like worrying about whatever the others are thinking or doing. If they find the two of them lying against each other out on the deck, then they'll have to just deal with it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weeks pass; the Mighty Nein finally return to the Empire, and Nott starts to fret over what comes next.
> 
> Jester, meanwhile, has plans for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hums as a distraction as I casually change the "4" for the number of chapters to "5" while no one is looking.
> 
> Chapter 5 is the one that will be explicit, I super promise this time.

"Jester, your hometown was really nice. Let's never go there again," Nott announces within earshot of everyone as the Mighty Nein look back over the Wuyun Gates to check if everyone can relax their guards.

Security going out of the Empire was tight, but the Dwendalian Empire in wartime makes a nigh-impenetrable fortress of itself, making sneaking back in as a rag-tag group of mostly non-Empire citizens basically impossible. Nott herself, she had cheerfully noted to everyone, is just as much a child of the Empire as Caleb and Beauregard. Caleb instantly reminded her that he had to teach her what the major holidays were, among basically every other fact about living in the Empire that she currently knows.

Which, fair. Goblins aren't necessarily law-abiding citizens of the Empire on the level of a human in, say, Rexxentrum. And Caleb's main point was that the Crownsguard that monitor the border would not willingly let a goblin past their inspections.

"And," he had also pointed out, "even if you were to disguise yourself, none of us have anything to prove that we belong on the other side of that gate."

An observation at which Beau smirked and confidently tapped her chest. "I do."

The solution? Everyone masquerading as Cobalt Soul monks of varying shapes and sizes. Since everyone other than Beau could disguise themselves with magic (while Yasha had assured them she had her own way back and parted ways, promising to meet up in Trostenwald), this proved largely successful, even with their suspicious magical cart. Of course, this also meant that Beauregard had to be the one to do all the talking, which was nearly disastrous, especially because she immediately adopted her Traci persona without warning anyone else.

She would later explain that, when put on the spot, she panicked, "and Traci just came out of me!"

But right now, as Nott announces her distaste for the Menagerie Coast to a couple chuckles from the group, Jester is the only one who just sighs and leans over the edge of the cart, her floating, pouting head sticking out over the side of the illusion.

Nott frowns. She expected Jester to laugh or come up with some kind of retort. Before she can ask her if she's alright, though, Fjord interrupts.

"So, Caleb tells me you want to go to Felderwin, Nott," he mentions, nudging her with his elbow.

"What's in Felderwin?" Mr. Clay calls back from his position up front, guiding the horses beside Beau. Right. He's the only one that doesn't know about Nott's inner demons.

"A lot of halflings," Nott answers. Then, after a pause, "And... goblins." Now it's Nott's turn to sulk in her corner of the cart bed. "If there's anything I know about home sweet home, it's that it's the embodiment of that old saying: 'Better never than ever.'"

"I've never heard that one," Mr. Clay says thoughtfully.

"Nott," Caleb urges, "I think you could use some good news."

He's right, of course. Caleb is the smartest person Nott's ever met. And he knows how important it is to her that she checks in with Yeza. It's just the thought of her old clan running into her again is...

It's not that she doesn't think the Mighty Nein couldn't kill the entire lot of them if they really had to. Both she and the others have grown tremendously over their months together, especially after the Menagerie Coast. It's the emotional fallout that Nott doesn't want to have to handle.

"We should go!" Jester suddenly announces, hand reaching over to grasp Nott's knee. The touch is encouraging and reassuring in equal measure, but Nott is distracted by the public display of affection. Which is stupid, she tells herself. She'd let any of her friends do the same. "I wanna see it, Nott! Don't you want to check on your hometown?"

"It's not a happy place..." Nott starts to argue, but then she looks up at Jester, who is staring at her with the largest, saddest eyes she's ever seen, her lower lip pouting, and the effect of Jester looking so utterly tragic is instantaneous. "I mean," Nott clears her throat, "a quick... pit stop couldn't hurt. A grab and go. A dine and dash."

"So it's agreed," Caleb says, and Nott doesn't have the heart to contradict him at this point.

So. To Felderwin they go.

 

* * *

 

After the horrible mess that was the Menagerie Coast, the familiar sight of the Ustaloch comes with possibly the greatest relief any of them have felt in their lives. Finally, they have the chance to sleep in an inn again, and the Nestled Nook at Trostenwald is a particularly nostalgic place to hang their hats while they travel northward. Jester excitedly calls out from the other edge of the dining area, as Fjord sets up their rooms, to point out that the dick she etched into one of the tables months ago is still right where she left it. Yorda, the innkeeper, blessedly doesn't bar them from rooming there again.

As the group starts to split into smaller units to take care of whatever business they have now that they've finally reached civilization, Yasha wanders into the room.

"I call Yasha!" Beau practically yells, and instantly grabs the larger woman by the arm and pulls her back out into the street. Yasha's face, meanwhile, is comically bewildered.

Fjord narrows his eyes after her and lets out a concerned grunt. "Uh, yeah, think Beau needs my help inevitably eating her foot." And with that, he rushes out the door, too.

The remaining four glance between each other. Nott is pretty sure by the looks on their faces that they agree that whatever Fjord tries to say to save that ship from sinking had better be good.

Who knows. Maybe his sailor background will translate into metaphorical aptitude.

"Well then," Caleb says, "I already know there are no books in this town. At least... none that would be worthwhile reading. So I suppose I will check Natural Remedies for potions..." He instinctively glances toward Nott, expecting her to volunteer to accompany him.

As soon as Nott opens her mouth, Jester sharply elbows Mr. Clay, eliciting a sudden "Bwaah!" He blinks a couple times. Rubbing his forearm, he then suggests, "Oh, right. Mr. Caleb, I think I'd like to check out this Natural Remedies place. I didn't get to see it my first time through, and I wonder if it might have some things I could use to create some potions of my own."

Caleb gives Jester a flat look, and then deadpans, "That's a pretty good excuse." He looks back to Nott, who gives him a shrug. Nott looks to Jester, who has her hands in her pockets and has an utterly practiced smile on her face, only obvious with how wide her eyes are. Jester catches Nott's gaze and waggles her eyebrows at her. Caleb, taking in this series of exchanges, sighs. "Well, you are not bad company, Caduceus. And it is true that getting you your ingredients would be useful to everyone."

"Yeah, I thought it might be," Mr. Clay agrees, as the two of them shuffle out of the door of the Nestled Nook.

Nott watches them leave, then blinks back at Jester, who is giving her a look of pure and utter glee. She's practically vibrating in place, fists clenched over her chest, which honestly makes Nott a little nervous.

" _So!_ " is the first word she bursts out with. "So! Nott, you like me, right?"

"I think we established that a long time ago," Nott quips, but she can't help but smile seeing Jester's excitement, confused smile though it is.

"But we are sort of missing something! Something sort of super important! Something we need to do right now."

Nott's smile turns a shade more nervous. "More kissing...?"

"No! Well, maybe. I could be convinced." Jester leans over and places both of her hands on Nott's shoulders, shaking her. "A date, Nott! We have to do a date!!"

Nott's first thought, as Jester jostles her to and fro, is that she can't possibly say no. It would break Jester's heart. Her second thought is that she is probably going to die of embarrassment doing some kind of dinner date or walk on the lake. She doesn't want to walk along the lake. She doesn't want to be anywhere near water ever again.

"Where exactly is this date we're going on?" Nott asks dazedly, catlike pupils still trying to refocus after being tossed around so much.

"Well," Jester says matter-of-factly, "I am very glad you asked that, Nott. I thought a lot about it on the way here, and I figure the Hills Ward is the super rich people part of town, right? But we are basically richer than anyone there now because this place is like basically really crappy compared to Zadash or Nicodranas, basically. So we can do whatever we want over there! Like go to a restaurant, or see a play, or have a picnic, or something like that!"

"Ah, yes," Nott intones, "the rich theatre of Trostenwald, known far and wide throughout the lands."

"Okay, okay, okay, so maybe they won't have plays," Jester relents. "But..." She blinks at Nott's face with a pause, and her smile starts to fade into a look of worry. "Um, but it'll be really fun! And romantic! I promise!"

Ah, shit. There it is. Jester's heartbreak is within reach. Nott feels, suddenly, that she has to sell her excitement on this. She has to make sure Jester feels supported.

But she thinks better of it, and instead Nott recites, "Jester, I'm super freaking out."

The code words uttered, Jester slows it down several notches, her smile recovering and growing soft. She moves her hands from Nott's shoulders to envelop one of Nott's hands with a gentle squeeze, and in the same motion, she places a chaste kiss on Nott's forehead.

"Okay, okay, okay," Jester says in a calmer voice. "I promise I won't embarrass you or anything. Do you want to take it one step at a time? I promise it'll be really super fun. I want to make you feel nice. I'm really good at that."

Nott can feel her cheeks grow hot. But she gives a tiny nod, humming her assent.

"We don't have to call it a date, you know." Jester's thumb traces a soothing pattern over Nott's palm. "I just want to spend the day with you. We haven't been alone since that Darktow place practically. And that didn't really count I think, because we were sort of breaking and entering."

Nott swallows hard and responds in a small voice, "So what's the first step?"

"Okay, so the first thing we do is..." Jester starts, and then stops herself, as an idea apparently enters her head. "Okay. I'm going to find a really good place, and you're going to wait for me there for a little bit, okay? I have some things I need to get ready."

That sounds... easier than expected, Nott would have to admit.

Okay then. It's a date.

 

* * *

 

The Hills Ward is obviously more well off than the rest of the small town of Trostenwald, even if it's not quite the Tri-Spire. The greenery appears to be smartly maintained by some mystery groundskeeper that is probably far underpaid for their work, with tulips, chrysanthemums, and bellflowers lining most of the roads in beautiful gardens. Nott even notices several pink rose trees starting to bloom, spring on the horizon. The roads themselves are a smoother walk compared to the dirt roads of most of the rest of town, with clean stonework along the path. The buildings in the area have a quaint, classic Dwendalian architecture to them, a departure from the very basic wood or stone buildings found in the rest of town.

Nott feels very uniquely out of place, and she's certain people are staring at her as she walks across the cobblestone streets, hand in hand with a much nicer dressed tiefling. Of course they'd stare at her. She may be wearing her mask and long tan gloves, but she's also otherwise clothed in glorified rags.

When she mentions this to Jester, she's quickly led to a space between two buildings so she can disguise herself to fit in better. Jester, meanwhile, is given the task of spitballing suggestions for Nott's new appearance. Once the spell is cast, Nott feels infinitely more comfortable blending in.

Instead of a half-disguised goblin, the person holding Jester's hand is a small halfling woman, with gentle curls of black hair falling down her back. Her skin is smooth and rosy brown, and the gown she now wears is a noble shade of blue, sleeves left elegantly open on the sides, exposing a lacy white chemise.

Nott's face, while no longer green, is still completely recognizable as her own. Jester insisted. The nose ring stays.

Jester eventually leads Nott off the side of the road and through the leaves of a large willow tree, revealing an open area clear of traffic. It appears to be set up for the occasional event, with a wooden stage set up nearby but not currently attended. The large space before the stage is completely open grass, and while the willow hangs over the southernmost edge of the standing area, the branches there are manicured to leave room for people to move around beneath.

"Wait for me here, okay?" is all that Jester says before scurrying off to do whatever it is that she needs to do. Prepare, apparently. Nott sits down beneath the overhanging leaves of the tree.

After five minutes, Nott starts to pace back and forth in the grass. After ten minutes, Nott starts to wonder if her disguise spell will last her whole time on this apparent date, or if someone's going to eventually spot a goblin hanging out in this secluded area in the Hills Ward. After twenty minutes, Nott has started making up impromptu dances on the stage, trying to ignore her impatience.

At minute twenty-five, just as Nott starts seriously considering taking this improv a capella tune she's just come up with on tour and maybe someday enrolling at a bard college, someone peeks through the far, lower branches of the willow tree.

"Nott? You didn't get bored and wander away, did you?" Jester calls out as she pushes through the leaves. "I'll get really pissed if you did!" As she enters the clearing, what Nott sees freezes her in her tracks.

Jester apparently went shopping. She is now clothed in a gown that extends to the floor, splayed out with use of a petticoat. The dominating color is a light peach, making the powder blue of her chest and her arms stand out even more. The skirt beneath the dress, exposed with an opening in the front, is a gently golden brocade, rustling as she takes each step toward Nott.

In the crook of her elbow is a woven basket, white cloth obscuring whatever is inside. But Nott gets the idea—it was one of Jester's suggestions, after all.

A picnic. With fancy gowns.

When Jester sees Nott is still there, she happily starts to plop down into the grass beneath the tree, a move at which Nott immediately protests, "You'll stain your clothes!"

Jester just shrugs and laughs, setting the basket down next to her and pulling out the white cloth, which is revealed to be a large sheet. She spreads it out over the grass before her, and then crawls on top of it, protecting her new dress.

Nott, meanwhile, haphazardly clambers off the top of the stage setup, nearly tripping over herself despite the fact that her own dress is illusory. She hurriedly crosses the open grass to Jester's blanket, kneeling down over it and hovering over the basket to see what other goodies it hides.

Sure enough, the basket is absolutely full to the brim with freshly baked pastries of all kinds. It looks almost like Jester got two of each of everything in the bakery. Jester's already started to nibble on a donut, so Nott grabs a raspberry danish and starts chomping down on it in a typical frenzied Nott fashion, probably looking completely comical combined with her rich halfling disguise.

When Nott finishes and starts licking raspberry filling and sugar glaze off her fingers, she can hear Jester's giggling across from her. She looks up, thumb still in her mouth, and sees Jester looking at her with half-lidded eyes, looking as if she's in complete bliss. Right. Jester really wanted to have a date... and they're having a date. A picnic, hidden away from the rest of town. Alone together. Nott slowly pulls her thumb out of her mouth with a slight _pop_ , feeling her cheeks start to heat up furiously. Thankfully, the illusion hiding her appearance will also hide the blush overtaking her face, but there's probably no mistaking the shy way she looks down at her lap, readjusts the way she's sitting so her legs aren't all over the place, and starts slowly raking her fingers through her long hair.

"Nott, you don't have to do anything but be Nott," says Jester the moment she notices Nott's altered behavior, between the last few bites of her donut. "There are no specific things you have to do right now. I know we look like really hot rich ladies, but we're still Jester and Nott, right? So just treat me the way you always treat me. Okay?"

"Yeah," Nott concedes. "Okay."

The two of them continue like that for a while, not saying anything, Nott downing pastries in nearly single gulps while Jester savors the moment, watching her.

Eventually, Jester breaks the silence. "You know," she says, swallowing the final piece of a scone, "I used to wear dresses like this all the time back home."

Nott blinks owlishly up at her, halfway through the process of licking powdered sugar off her palms.

"My mom would buy me the nicest things to wear, and I'd get to dress up in my room, and she would sing for me and I'd dance around, or I'd play the piano along with her, or I'd do sketches in ink and get stains all over my skirts." Jester's voice is distant. "I kinda hoped we'd get to do something like that when we went back."

Ah. But... they didn't. Instead, they lost three pets, stayed in Nicodranas for about a day, cut a man's hand off in the sewers, got caught snooping around at the docks, and accidentally stole a pirate ship and fucked off forever.

"We did get to see your mom for a little while," Nott tries to say, but she knows it falls flat the instant she gives voice to it.

Jester simply sighs, "Yeah. We did."

Nott doesn't know what to say next. Apologizing wouldn't help. It wasn't even Nott's fault, really. It was barely anyone's fault. Nott just didn't realize Jester would be so sad to leave her home. She never made the connection. Nott's never really felt... homesick.

"That's why I thought it was a good idea to go to your home, you know, in Felderwin," Jester reveals, nervously twisting the various rings on her fingers. "Because I thought maybe it would be good to get to see something familiar to somebody. And maybe you can see that Yeza guy who was your friend and make sure he's safe and everything. So you can see you were worried all for nothing."

Nott frowns. "Jester... I don't have the same attachment to my home you do. I don't have a mom." It almost sounds cruel to say. To dash Jester's hopes. But she has to say it to her. "It's going to be really dangerous going back because even if we're disguised, my clan will probably try to kill us. And if I can't stay hidden around the actual town, some people are probably going to notice you hanging around a goblin and then they'll start attacking us, too."

Jester brings a finger to her mouth and chews at a dark claw, brow knit, staring at the mostly emptied pastry basket. Nott doesn't like seeing Jester so worried.

"I mean..." Nott tries again. "I don't mean to sound pessimistic. I just want to make sure you're ready when things... go topsy-turvy up there."

Jester's hand clutches the fabric of her skirt. Nott sees her just quietly sit there looking miserable, and instantly, she feels like the biggest piece of shit on the planet.

"Jester," Nott whispers in a way she hopes is soothing, "Jester, I'm sorry." She crawls across the gap between them, crouching over Jester's knees, placing her hands on her collarbone. "I don't mean to be ungrateful. I think it's a really... sweet thought. You wanted me to have what you have."

"No," Jester says, staring down at where their knees touch. "No, I already knew you didn't really want to go. And I knew why, too. Well, I kinda did. Part of it." She sighs, bringing a hand to her forehead. "I just really... really miss my mom. And I feel like I never really got the chance to get her back. And I didn't think..."

Nott pulls the hand away from Jester's forehead and places a placating kiss over her fingers. Jester sighs, closing her eyes.

"I'm ruining our date," Jester suddenly moans.

Nott bites her lip. "When you ruin things," she says as she clutches Jester's hand against her chest, pulling closer to her face and leaning her forehead against hers, "you're painting the Platinum Dragon rainbow or displacing every single item in a shop or leaving tributes to the Traveler on the side of historical monuments. I won't consider this day ruined until you've got something to show for it. Something really special."

The next sound to come from Nott's mouth is a surprised squeak as Jester suddenly grabs her by the chin and tilts her forward, lips crashing against hers unexpectedly. She's quickly overwhelmed by the urgency in the kiss as Jester grabs the small of her waist and presses her tightly against her stomach, leaving Nott straddled around Jester's hips. The illusory dark curls probably stay completely still even as Jester tugs Nott's hood off beneath the disguise and takes a fistful of Nott's real hair as she presses against her.

Nott doesn't have the chance to think before Jester's tongue is pushing past her lips, ignoring the scrape of Nott's teeth as it laps up what is probably the same taste of powdered sugar and pastry cream Nott can taste on her. The sugary glaze on most of the sweets left on both of their lips makes the kiss uniquely sticky, up until Jester's tongue hungrily laps up every last bit of sweetness left on Nott.

Nott lets out another muffled squeak as Jester's hand moves down her waist and latches onto her butt, but it travels further downward, clutching her by the thigh. Jester's trying to tug her even closer, but she's pressed up against her already, and the feeling of their bodies flush against one another sends electric shocks down Nott's spine and she shudders. Nott feels Jester's tail snake up her leg, almost tickling her as it goes, and the spade comes to rest at her butt to replace Jester's hand. Nott hums around Jester's insistent tongue.

Realizing she's let herself get caught up in the sudden flood of sensations, Nott's hands travel down Jester's collarbone, and... carefully avoid her chest, and run down the sides of her waist, quietly cursing how stiff Jester's bodice is. She can't think of what to do even now that she's aware that she's frozen in place, so she starts brushing the tips of her claws against Jester's back until she feels a sigh at her lips.

Eventually, Nott is released long enough for the both of them to gasp for air, Nott swearing she can feel aftershocks of touch wherever Jester's hands traveled before. Her heart is beating so fast it feels like it's going to burst from her chest, and Nott pulls away to recover.

There are a few moments where the two of them take in what just happened, trying to slow their panting.

"I want to see you," Jester eventually breathes.

"What?"

"I want to see you... the real you," Jester repeats, fingers tracing the curve of Nott's hip.

Nott takes a sharp breath and bites her lip. She's definitely going to have a heart attack at this rate. Silently, she drops the magical disguise, revealing herself as the goblin in ratty clothes she is.

"I thought you'd want me to look cute for you," Nott murmurs, barely audible even to herself, staring down at her legs haphazardly folded over Jester's. "For the date."

Jester sighs. She takes Nott by the chin, her touch gentle this time, as she guides her gaze up to look her in the eye. Her tail travels up Nott's waist and starts flicking lazily against her back. She just stares at her for a long moment like that, Nott still fighting to catch her breath, lips slightly parted.

"I love you like this."

Nott lets out a tiny gasp, freezing in place. Suddenly all she feels is her heart pumping in her chest and her throat tightening.

This is happening to someone else. Someone cuter, someone smarter, someone who deserves this. Someone who deserves Jester looking at her like that, someone a million times more desirable.

Nott takes a deep, shaky breath.

"I..."

Jester just keeps staring straight into her eyes. Like Nott is the one that's a million times more desirable, right here, right now. Like Nott's the only one that deserves this. "It's okay if you don't, Nott."

"No, I..." Nott rasps, voice suddenly gone. "I... love you. A lot. It's embarrassing how much I love you." Nott clears her throat and tries again, voice a little stronger but still wavering, "Are you feeling better?"

Jester's hand cups Nott's cheek. "A little bit." A mischievous, hungry grin creeps across her face. "But I know what could make both of us stop worrying for a while."

A shock runs down Nott's spine, and her whole head flushes deeply green. She knows exactly what Jester is talking about, because she's Jester, and she has the dirtiest mind out of all of them. Nott feels suddenly, intensely hot, and she squirms a bit in Jester's lap.

Jester just giggles at her, teasing, "Even the tips of your ears are blushing." She gently pinches the end of one of Nott's large ears in two fingers. "Have you thought about it?"

Nott opens her mouth to try to respond, but nothing comes out, so she just gives a shaky nod.

"I bet no one's at the inn, you know," Jester needles, running her fingertips down Nott's thigh.

"Oh, gods," Nott gasps, running her hands down her face in relief. "I thought you were going to start right here."

Jester snickers, grin still absolutely devilish. "Oh, did you want to?"

"Inn," Nott yelps. "Inn, inn's good. I like the inn."

Jester hums thoughtfully, then she starts to move to stand, so Nott climbs off of her. She brushes off some errant blades of grass and fallen leaves from her fancy skirt, subsequently gathering up the remains of the pastry basket and hooking it back over her elbow. Just as Nott is about to ask if she should disguise herself again, Jester then leans over and scoops her up in her arms in one swift motion. Nott lets out a small sound as she is tucked against Jester's chest, steadying hand on her back.

They're doing Mother's Love. Jester doesn't know the con, Nott thinks, but she knows she's dressed up nicely enough right now to make up for the both of them.

Nott places a hand on Jester's collarbone and hides her face against her shoulder while Jester starts to carry her back through the greenery-lined streets of the Hills Ward.


End file.
